This Will Hurt, Harm and Suck The Very Life Out of Your Child!

Not knowing the evidence will hurt your child. (and you) I have a brilliant sister whose name is Penny. It is a great British name. I call her Nelope. Nelope attended the same undergraduate college as I did in Virginia. Both of us had attended summer school so that we could finish our degrees in the shortest time possible. The result was that we both completed our degrees in the middle of the school year in December. Nelope then left to go to Dallas and begin her doctoral work in psychology. Penny chose to return to Virginia to walk in the graduation ceremony in May of the next year. She decided she would drive a car she had recently bought that purportedly got great mileage and would make t

Sticks and Stones Can Break My Bones But Words...

I have seen an epidemic of interventions by parents, teachers, social media hawks, law enforcement and the public to run to the aid of people, primarily young people, when they are verbally demeaned, attacked or made fun of. I understand the sentiments of all who intervene. I feel for those children and adults who are assaulted verbally with racial, sexual, social, religious, physical or other slurs or just nasty vile attacks. Words hurt. They make us feel less that. They are never ok. With that being said, there is another reality that I know and that is if we think we can protect our children from those attacks or encounters, we are living in a country that does not exist. We cannot

Please Somebody See Me!

Maybe the greatest pain or source of pain I have seen in the children of wealthy families in the pain of not being known while being known. I know that sounds like Dr Seuss. What I mean by that is they feel a great sense of emptiness. They have a sense they are playing to the external or veneer of the family name, reputation and notoriety and they have none of their own. None they can say they created anything substantive by themselves. They are uncertain that they could ever have made it by themselves. Some make sure their family name is known. They use it for every advantage: academic, sexual, promotions, positions, friendships and favors. There is always something inside which leads them

The Amazing Positive Power of “NO”!

It is not very often you read something that just makes great sense. I often read articles or books by psychologists, counselors or other mental health professionals and I honestly think, “What reality do they live in?” or something less than kind. That is because there is so much utter nonsense in the pop psychology world that is filled with advice about never saying no, never setting limits or boundaries because of the limiting effect on creativity or hurting the feelings of young lives that soon will be out of control. Maybe it’s a way the mental health community create work for themselves. No limits = depressed, anxious and nasty young people. I honestly believe the drug epidemic we a

Teaching Teens and Millennials The Joy of Giving.

The teenage years are often a time of intense selfishness. It is all about them. Their needs, emotions, future, money, friends, etc. After all they even invented the "Selfie" because it describes their focus - ME! The ability to give from what one has earned is a Joy. It requires looking away from self to the needs of others. Giving results in positive emotion, satisfaction and it can change the lives of those who receive. Giving brings human connection and allows people who may never have connected from finding connection in ways that matter. The actual joy of working for something that they learn the value of, because they invested their own time and talent to producing the means to giv

Your Child In NOT Jesus! Treat Teachers With Respect

My Life Scene Investigation has been involved in helping change behavior with students from over 50 schools in Seattle, Dallas and Los Angeles. One of the big issues that schools have to deal with is disrespect from students which sometimes gets a response from administrators but very often they are petrified to respond because of useless, jackass, ill mannered and just plain ignorant parents. Parents who threaten to sue and go to social media and cause all sorts of crazy for the teacher and school. I have a one truth you need to get, understand and maybe it will bring you down to reality and off your almighty throne – YOUR CHILD IS NOT JESUS. That means you did not give birth to perfecti

A Prophylactic Against Teen Crazy!

I raised three teens, two older boys and a younger girl child. They were two years apart. I was a single parent and I would often believe I would end up jumping into the lake, not to kill myself but to cool off and stop the steam coming from my overheating head. Verbal arguments, trying to explain simple logic, setting boundaries, asking had homework been done, wanting to know where they were going, who were the new friends, who would be at the party, when were chores going to be done, what was the smell coming from their rooms, who was in the bathroom last……. There were times I would honestly think I was going to go mad. Having to retrain myself from pulling my hair out, kicking the mad

100 Questions to Ask Your Teen Other Than “How Was School?”

I wanted to share this fun article to help you with talking with your teen. One of the hardest things to do as a parent is to find ways to communicate with someone who lives in an alien world. Before I share it, want to give you the best secret I ever found that works brilliantly if you want to talk with your teen. I raised three by myself. This will work 98.392075534% of the time if you do it. Follow the simple steps. Talk while doing something your teen loves doing. Here are three examples: Andre my oldest was introverted and quiet but would always talk if asked. But I can remember either throwing a football or shooting baskets would create the best and most open communication opport

Why Look Back to Go Forward?

Parenting is never easy, I know, I raised three children. Two boys and one girl. As a married parent, a single custodial parent, a parent. In working with parents for 30 years, I have come to believe that the best parenting is not so much about reading every book or listening to all the so called experts, it is about perspective. How you approach your world or parenting. How you see the process and how to get them launched into life. There is a pervasive belief that the pathway to success is guided by determining what is wrong or weak and then fixing those weaknesses. Stopping kids from failing. Standing in their way when they do stupid. Pointing out every bad thing that might happen

Millennials Need Hope - Here's How!

How many of us, our friends or people we know, have young adults aka Millennials, that: Have dropped out of college and returned home to live? Have never found their way up and out and never left home? Have changed their plans to accommodate a child who just won’t get up and become and adult? Have to live captive in their homes after raising children because of a child who is still a child? There are other scenarios but you get the idea. Last month, a Pew Research Center report grabbed a lot of attention for saying that, for the first time since 1880, young adults ages 18 to 34 are more likely to live with a parent than in any other arrangement. The Washington Post ran an article, The Real R

A Parent's Greatest Fear!

I am a parent of three children. The greatest joy of my life was having my three children. The greatest fear was that something terrible might happen to them, fears like: They might take their own lives They would take an overdose They would be in an accident They would be the victim of some violent of terrible crime They would end up in prison because they committed a crime They would end up on the streets homeless and lost Those are all terrible thoughts. They are terrible because with their births was a hope or a promise of possibly greatness. A life that might become amazing and who knows even change the world for some great reason. What resides deep in our hearts as parents and as p

I Hate You! Your Teen is Gasping for Air!

Some of the angriest people I know are teens and young adults who have not been allowed to discover or develop their talents.. They are smothered, strangled and cut off from the very breath of life and passion. They are like someone who has their head pushed under the water in a pool. They may submit at first, thinking it is a game and you are just playing. After a few seconds, they start pushing up and against what is holding him down. Eventually, fear and desperation kick in, and their arms and legs begin to fight and flail around. Talent is powerful and must find expression. It has a power that if not channeled will leave one disappointed and angry at Life! Parents (managers) hovered over

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Teen Discovery - A Divisiion of Talent DNA LLC  and The Legacy Forum 2018 (C)